How did they keep a straight face?
How the world sees America.
Celebrated our one year tonight ☺️ Boo bought me a new #Fossil watch & purse. Took me to Saltgrass, ate 30 dollar steaks, the creamiest cheesecake, & made Adventure Time stickers for mee 😊 She’s too good for me 😔
Portia and I have been married for 4 years and they have been the happiest of my life. And in those 4 years, I don’t think we hurt anyone else’s marriage. I asked all of my neighbours and they say they’re fine. - ELLEN
Japanese farmer creates the world’s first heart-shaped watermelon
Last Of The American Girls - Green Day
white men making white girl jokes
when you go to the doctor but dont know if it a dude or a girl
and you hope for a girl but it a dude
and he tells you to pull down your boxers
and your dick get hard
"there’s always money in the banana stand"